Finding Your Strength

Part of military life is about leaving, but it’s also about finding your strengths, your courage & where you belong.

I’m no stranger to a detachment or deployment after being with Dan for 6 years, but just because I’m not a stranger to being alone, it doesn’t mean it’s something you ever get used to. Being alone for however long the separation just becomes the new ‘normal’.

Many partners would probably agree that after the first couple of weeks you find yourself into a new rhythm, & that time starts to pass easier as you’ve gone through probably the toughest part at the beginning. Those initial few weeks is where the support is really important & having people around can make life bearable. I have found good support in places & also non existent in others. Living on a married patch really is hit & miss & someone who loved one posting, may have hated another that someone else found the best. It really is totally dependent on preference. But what happens when the support around you isn’t there? I’ve found this new posting incredibly tough so far, it’s one of those things when you’re the ‘newbie’ again, you really have to try & build some friendships.. But as with anything worth doing, it can take time. With Dan gone last week & no contact between us, it suddenly hit me how alone I really am here. I don’t know anybody yet – no one who can just ‘pop over for a cuppa’. When you move away from your home town to begin this military journey (if you choose to), friendships with people you’ve known for years can take a back seat. It’s great when you have friendships that will last through the distance, but sometimes that’s not the case either.

So I find myself very connected to other military wives & girlfriends who are in the same boat as me. I’m so thankful for social media & the technology we have now – I have been brought to so many other military partners that I would otherwise never have had the opportunity to know.

I posted something on my IG & FB to give myself some encouragement & to other wives who may have needed some motivation & I couldn’t believe the response, I had gone from feeling sad & feeling very depleted at the prospect of no communication all week, to feeling very humbled that I was not alone in my situation & there are others willing to spend time chatting away & keeping each other company – even though we aren’t even at the same base.

What I’m trying to say through all my ramblings is: no matter how alone you feel, we are all or have at some point in our journey, been in the same position. We know what it’s like to have friends from home that don’t have time to visit us, or when you move to a new area & you don’t even know where the local post office is – we are all in this together.

So thank you for making me feel less alone last week, I could squeeze all of you!

I found myself finding some quotes to sum up what it feels like when the other half of you is away from you. I hope that these give you some encouragement & help if you are finding military life a bit tough right now. My inbox is always open & if you’re local to me, or even fancy a road trip – my door is always open for you too.

Nic xx

  1. Sophie 6 years ago

    This totally hits the nail on the head.
    My hubby is also a serving RM. We have been together over 11 years, married nearly 8 and been doing the quarters thing since we got married.
    The last few postings, I’ve struggled to get into the swing of it, and dread the starting again part. It feels like we move on just as I find my feet, make friends etc. Next year she’s hubby leave the military and I’m dreading starting again, again. But knowing this is (hopefully) the last move is keeping me positive and I’m looking forward to a house I can do what I like to haha. So long magnolia!
    Military life is really tough at times, but the most amazing thing is the people you meet along the way, who are there for you in an instant with a cuppa or the offer of help. People who you have known a relatively short amount of time but who become like family. For me, I think that’s why it’s so hard moving each time.

    • Author
      Nicola Shepherd 6 years ago

      Hi Sophie,
      Thank you so much for taking the time to pop a comment on here. I have really struggled with that too in the past, our last posting wasn’t even a year long but I found my feet much quicker there – & I still didn’t feel ‘ready’ to move on. I also feel like whenever I get settled somewhere, people who I’ve become close to move away & that cycle starts again! That’s a very exciting prospect though, no more moving! Yes definitely, no magnolia & chip wallpaper is such an exciting thought! I’m sure you will surprise yourself with your abilities to adapt to a new setting & lifestyle. :-).
      I couldn’t agree more, sometimes the people we meet along the way become our family.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


©2024 Paper Jungle


We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.


Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?